Rise Again to Break
by AwesomeGizmo
Summary: Regina thought that maybe, she would get her happy ending after all. Robin had returned and told her he would stay with her, she had a good and supportive family, and she was still in good terms with the rest of Storybrooke. And yet, here she was again with a broken heart and dissolving hope. ON HIATUS
1. Miss Me?

**A.N: This is my third Once Upon a Time story that I've attempted. I did a collection of one-shots earlier in the year, so I've worked with the characters before. I hope you like it! Slightly AU, the Queens of Darkness never happened.**

 **Rating: T**

 **Summary: Before they found out Zelena was Marian, Robin and his family returned to Storybrook. Now, Regina is in pain once again, after Zelena makes a surprise visit to her house.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time, nor do I profit from any of it. All rights go to their respective owners.**

...

"Upsie daisy!" Regina grunted as she pulled baby Neal from his crib. "Why are you being so fussy?" She cooed, bouncing him on his hip. "Mommy will be back in a just a bit, but please stop crying..."

The baby relaxed in her arms, sucking his thumb in an innocence only seen in babies shining back through his eyes.

"You see? My annoyingly optimistic step-daughter won't be happy you're up, simply because you wanted to be up. That's your mother by the way, and she worked long and hard to get you to sleep."

Regina looked at the babe in her arms placing her forehead against it.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep? So I look like a good babysitter and can do this again?"

Neal simply gurgled, but she understood.

"Guess not huh?" By then Neal was a mere six months old, only able to hold his own head up.

Regina held onto him as she scampered around Snow's apartment, tidying and rearranging and doing anything she could to busy herself. It was just as she sat down, the baby cradled in her arms, did she hear the door open.

"Regina, we're back." Snow voiced, placing her grocery bags on the counter. "How was he?"

"A little angel, of course. He's your child, after all. Granted he was sleeping for most of the time, but I think he just missed his mother."

"That's good." Snow mumbled, barely listening as she quickly put the various items away.

Regina put Neal back into his crib, sauntering over and examining the food items.

"You don't feed my son this crap do you?" She asked, fingering a can of instant ravioli.

"Only as a last resort meal." Snow sighed, scowling as she grabbed the can away from Regina.

"Oh, grabby, get any sleep last night?"

"Ha! Is that even a question needing an answer anymore?"

"That's not good for you Snow." Regina mumbled, distracted by her ringing cell phone.

"It's amazing how far you've come Regina." Snow commented contently, causing Regina to smile herself.

Snow examined her step-mother, how she looked so much happier now that she had let go of the anger and hate that was pulling her down. But she also noticed how much weight Regina had lost, how her eyes had dark spots poorly hidden by makeup, and how her smile no longer was full.

 _Since Robin_ , the princess thought. _No, since Marian._ Her mind autocorrected.

Snow was kind to everyone, but she was not ashamed to admit she had a certain disliking of Marian. If only because she was the one who had been there with Regina while she fell apart.

Regina ruffled through her purse, still smiling as she checked the Caller I.D. She expected to be Henry, and as she read the name her smile slowly faded.

"Regina? Is something wrong? Who's calling you?"

Regina looked up, her eyes shining already as the cracks in her armour began to appear again.

"It's Robin." She whispered, before answering her phone.

...

Emma was dutifully standing beside Regina at the town line, a hand placed on her shoulder as she saw he inner turmoil inside her head.

"So what makes him think coming back is safe?" She mumbled, hoping to start conversation.

"Rumple called him, he's found a way to remove ice from a persons heart." Regina replied, "He said it was a favour he was willing to give."

"I think I have the spell down, I mean I had a really good teacher."

"You don't need to boost my ego in order to make me feel better Ms. Swan."

"Isn't this good?"

"Of course it's a good thing, it just hurts. I'm opening myself up for heartache I can tell already. I'm not sure if I can handle it. And if you tell anyone I'm admitting this I'll kill you."

"You don't have to worry about me, but in the end he chose you, right?"

"Yes. For a beautiful moment it was me."

"Then you've got nothing to worry about."

"He told me once he wanted kids."

"What?" Regina turned her neck to face Emma, her facade almost back in place, almost.

"More kids that is, besides Roland and Henry. He wanted to make one of our own, expand the family, maybe a girl because we both have sons."

Emma kept her mouth shut, sensing that that was what Regina wanted her to do.

"I didn't have the strength to tell him that it could never happen. All because of my selfishness."

"You can't have kids." Emma stated more than asked.

"No, Rumple helped me with that."

"Did you want them?"

"Not with the life I was living."

"How long ag-"

"Before I was the Evil Queen and just Regina. No, just the King's second wife." Regina cut her off bitterly, her face scrunching like she'd eaten lemons.

Emma stayed silent as Regina fully turned towards her.

"Marian can give him that, and after six weeks together without my interference? He'll go back to her."

"You're wrong."

"Am I, ?"

"You're his soulmate, destined to be together."

"Don't start sounding like your mother, I detest hope speeches."

"I don't sound like her."

"Oh yes you do."

"Shut up..." Emma grinned, nudging Regina with her shoulder.

Regina smiled, nudging her back. They waited there, by the line, side by side, until they saw the faint outline of Robin and his family.

"Call Rumple, I'll start the spell."

Regina didn't have to hear his voice to know he was already there.

"You called Dearie?"

"Your end of the bargain will be held up as soon as she crosses the line."

"Yes, yes, the archer's wife shall be healed with no repercussions to him. You on the other hand, owe me a favour."

"I owe you plenty, you just tell me when you want to cash them in."

The man nodded, a thin and grim scowl on his face.

"Some of those weren't meant to be favours." He mumbled, returning the look she gave him then.

Robin was in touching distance to the line by now, and as a dutiful as she was, Regina wasn't ready.

"Emma, can you start?"

"Wait what? I can't!"

Robin stopped in front of the line. Roland was in one arm and Marian holding his other. The whole family was smiling with a new light, they looked perfect.

"Well, let's get them over then." Emma said, joining Regina as they took down the protection spell.

...

Robin waited by Marian's side as Rumpelstiltskin worked on her heart. Regina waited by her car, her and Emma chatting quietly. Emma was putting her arm around Regina in a soft hug, before glancing at Robin. Their eyes met for a heated moment and he could see the threat in Emma's eyes.

' _You hurt her again and you'll have more than one problem on your hands.'_

He nodded, once, before looking down at Marian again. He had her hand in his own, waiting to see if the Dark One could hold to his promise.

Marian began to stir, mumbling his name.

"The ice has been removed, she'll be fine." Rumplestiltskin announced, turning abruptly and walking from them.

"Th-thank you." Marian said, embracing Robin.

The Dark One looked critically at her, nodded once and began walking again.

He and Regina shared a look, and it almost looked like he was going to comfort her. Instead, he put a lame hand on her shoulder, and reminded her of her debt.

"I'm ready to pay it when you're ready." She reminded him.

"I'm saving them up. Goodbye Dearie." He smiled a knowing smile before vanishing.

"You've got a strange relationship with that man." Emma commented.

"You don't say? Me and Rumple have a long and complicated history."

"Define complicated?"

"I've helped him, he's helped me, I've screwed him over, he's screwed me over. Really that's the end of story."

"That's it?"

"What were you expecting? Coming from me?"

"More details maybe?"

"In these past few months have you gotten to know me at all?"

"I've been living here for four years Regina."

"Yes but how much of that time did I openly accept you and your family's sicking optimism."

"Shut up, at least give me a year. Neverland was a pretty big adventure."

"Come on, they look ready."

Emma nodded, but stayed put as Regina began walking towards the family.

"Are you coming?" She asked sarcastically, raising a critical eyebrow.

"You're the mayor, you go greet them. I'll get my car ready."

"Seriously?"

"You need to talk." Emma said, tilting her head and deadpanned Regina. "Send the kid and wife over and I'll take them into town."

"I don't need you to watch out for me."

"Maybe, but there's nothing you can do about it."

Regina huffed and rolled her eyes, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hi, welcome back to Storybrook." She said as kindly as she could, approaching them slowly. Her hands clasped behind her back.

"Gina!" Regina felt the little arms wrap around her legs, pushing her backwards. He'd grown, and as he pushed her legs buckled beneath her. She felt herself land unceremoniously on her ass. Roland fell on top of her, giggling as he shimmed up her chest and into the crook of her neck. "Missed you."

Regina let off a soft grunt, before chucking and holding his forehead close to hers. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, revealing his wonderful little dimples she missed so much.

"I missed you too baby. I missed you too." She mumbled, before feeling his weight being lifted off of her.

"Roland, did you say sorry for knocking the Queen down?" Marian scolded, holding onto him by his waist as she lifted him.

"Sorry Gina." He mumbled, wriggling out of his mother's grasp.

"Are you alright mi'lady?" Robin's accented voice carried over everything. He smiled down at her, offering her his hand. "It's not often you get to see the Queen on her arse."

Marian glanced at the two, pursing her lips. She watched as Regina took the jab with a playful glare, accepting his hand and being lifted up.

"Emma is going to take your family into town..." She whispered, noticing the close proximity of her ex-lover. Everything about her was suggesting she was uncomfortable, from her body language to her words. "Your men have been notified, they're waiting in Granny's."

"Alright, thank you." Robin replied, stepping backwards away from Regina. Awkwardness radiated between her and the outlaw. Regina nodded, and began walking away. She stopped when he grabbed her elbow, pulling her into him. "Can we talk?" He asked, his devilish smile forming.

"We already are aren't we? Your wife is over right over there."

"I think Emma has her covered, come on." He began leading her away, and although she protested she was a willing captive. "I'm more in my element in these forests than anywhere."

"We shouldn't do this here. We can talk when you're settled."

"Marian and Roland are fine, they're with the Saviour, and if you don't want to talk fine. I'll do the talking."

"But-"

"No, I'll do the talking. First of all, you don't start getting those terrible little thoughts in your head about us. Unfortunate circumstances lead us to separate, but you're still the one. You'll always be the one, I'm in love with you."

With a teary smile Regina smiled and nodded, rubbing her arms. He embraced her, placing his forehead upon hers. His mouth moved down until he captured a kiss from his queen. Her arms moved to his waist, and began sliding up to his neck, burrowing in his hair.

She gasped for air, pulling away.

"Not here," she was whispering in his ear, "we need to go."

"I've missed you."

"I've noticed," Regina quipped, pecking his lips softly. "I've missed you too."

"Come along mi'lady," He swept her off her feet, carrying her bridal style out of the woods. "I must reacquaint myself with our joyful friends."

Regina laughed, not fighting his grip.

"And joyful we are."

...

Regina laughed beside Snow while inside Granny's, Robin only a few feet from her side. Neal was placed in her arms once again, Snow promising she'd be back after she went to the restrooms.

She she rocked him back and forth, hushing him down. Robin leaned over and smiled at the babe.

"You look beautiful with that baby in your arms." He whispered in her ear, as he rubbed her hips. Her smile faltered for a moment, and she tightened her hold on Neal.

"He will be handsome like his father," she commented, "but I hope he will grow into Snow's eyes. She has such caring eyes."

"You've repaired your relationship with her quite a bit haven't you?"

"I've forgiven her, and she... supported me when I needed her to."

"It's always interested me, do you see her as a friend or your stepdaughter?"

Regina let out a hearty laugh, never really thinking of it herself.

"Somewhere in between I suppose, I can become fiercely protective of my family and she certainly is my family, but at the same time, she only ever saw me as a mother never did I see her as my daughter. And I refuse to acknowledge that technically, Emma is my step-grandchild."

Robin chuckled and took another drink of his whisky.

"So I suppose, Snow is my step-daughter but more just family, Emma is my friend and also family but no technicalities, Henry is my son, and Neal, Neal is my godchild."

"And David is the ruggedly handsome husband of your step-daughter." David supplied, offering his arms for the baby.

"David is the unfortunate blip we have to put on our family tree." Regina quipped, handing him Neal.

"Words can hurt too Regina."

"Oh run along, Shepard." Regina fired back, grabbing her coat. "Tell Snow I was tired, I'll see her tomorrow for lunch."

"Will do."

"Wait," Robin grabbed her arm, pulling her back into his chest. "Should I- Do you want me to go with you?"

Regina smiled and took a sharp breath, but a glance at Marian told her no.

"Get Marian settled, we can talk tomorrow."

"Are you sure? I'm sure Little John can get her settled in the camp perfectly fine."

"No, no, she's still technically your wife. And now that you're back we have all the time in the world to talk. Right?"

Robin sighed, still gripping onto her arms. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, pressing his forehead to her own.

"Meet me in the forest tomorrow morning, eight o'clock."

She smiled and nodded, clenching her hand around his before turning away and leaving. She gave Marian an awkward smile and tip of her head before scurrying into the crisp air of the outdoors.

Walking home was nothing new to Regina, especially not in these few months, but something felt different this time. It was odd, and a little unnerving. Dismissing it as the rush of the day she kept walking, arriving on her porch just as an eerie fog began to form. It made the air sickly thick and she felt it was clinging to her skin.

The queen went about her usual routine. She took off her coat and shoes, put her kettle on, and hurried upstairs to ready herself for bed.

She splashed water on her face, staring at her reflection in the mirror. It surprised her that it was still the same Regina as the night before, despite the day she'd had. She was in nothing but a tank top and her shorts but she trotted downstairs to check on her kettle.

The absence of whistling made her wary, and when she heard steps in her kitchen she immediately lit a fireball.

She swung herself over the frame, ready to attack any intruder in her home. Regina skidded to a halt at the sight of Marian standing in her kitchen, preparing the tea.

"Marian? What the Hell are you doing here? And how did you get inside?"

Marian looked up from her task, an almost bored expression on her face.

"The door was unlocked. I wanted to talk, I hope you don't mind."

"Uh, no it's alright I suppose. You just... scared me a little."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should of announced myself." Marian had this dry tone of voice that Regina wasn't accustomed to, not from the Marian she had met before. Her face lacked any emotion at all, it unnerved Regina.

"Are you feeling alright?" Regina asked slowly, sliding herself onto the stool facing Marian at the countertop.

She let out a false laugh, turning to face Regina with a pointed look. She slid the cup of tea forcefully at Regina, who took it and took a slow but polite sip. Marian watched her as she drank, her face contorting into a scowl.

"Robin just announced he wishes to end our marriage"

"Oh, oh. Marian I'm-"

"What? What are you sorry for? Wrecking a family?" Marian's voice surpassed anger now, it was damn near dangerous.

"It was never my intentions to end your marriage."

"Shut up." She barked the command so quickly it was like a slap in the face.

"I beg your pardon?" Regina stood, trying to look intimidating, even though she felt something was off.

"I. Said. Shut. Up!" Marian was losing it, her hands were shaking in rage. "Why doesn't anything work?! You _always_ get what you want!"

She flung her hands in a crazed gesture and Regina felt herself smash into her stove. Regina put a hand to her head, the world now blurred and spinning. She wasn't surprised when it came back warm and red.

"What?" Regina mumbled, confused and unable to form a coherent thought.

"Well, I suppose the cat's out of the bag now isn't it?" She said, though it was not Marian's voice. And Regina knew that voice too well.

"Zelena? How-?"

"No, no, shhh..." Zelena cooed, taking hold of a necklace and morphing her form. Regina tried to form a fireball, a shield, she even tried to heal herself. It wasn't working. "About that, you're not going to be able to do that for a bit."

Zelena laughed, looking down at her defenceless little sister. Her smile turned vicious, her eyes darkened, her entire being dangerous. She advanced on Regina, kicking her in the stomach, making it so Regina couldn't stand.

"So..." Zelena crouched by Regina's head, "Did you miss me Sis?"

...

 **A.N: There's the first chapter, I hope you like it! Thanks for reading, if you could be darlings and leave a review that would be amazing! Constructive criticism is accepted. I hope to have the next chapter next week!**


	2. Ache

**A.N: Thank you all for the support on this, the reply I got to this was amazing! Thank you especially to the reviewers, who have helped immensely. I hope you like this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time and all rights go to their respective owners.**

...

Pain. Why was there so much pain? Regina was vaguely aware of her own body convulsing as Zelena shot her with another burst of electricity. Blood dribbled out of her mouth, splashing against the kitchen tiles. Everything was in slow motion, she could see every droplet, every stain.

Regina was not used to feeling powerless, helpless, but every time she urged her magic to defend her, it wouldn't work. She knew she was about to die, it was only a matter of time before Zelena let it happen.

Her glamour had long been forgotten, and there was no mistaking it anymore. Zelena had been Marian this whole time, probably revelling as she watched Regina crumble.

"It was better than my original plan." Zelena sneered, this time kicking Regina in her ribs, "Because I got to watch you suffer, and had I stuck with my foolishness before, I wouldn't have even remembered you."

Zelena crouched next to her, gently moving her hair way from her face. "And the suffering was the best part."

Regina spit a wad of blood in her face, smirking as Zelena screeched in disgust.

"So this is the end? He's chosen me, you have nothing left to use to keep us apart, so you'll just kill me now? Because no one would _ever_ suspect Robin's dear wife." Regina spat back.

"Oh no dear sister... Death is too sweet a wish coming from you."

"So then what? You're keeping me alive? For what?"

"To watch you suffer as you lose the 'love of your life' again, but this time by your own hand."

"What...? You're crazy."

"Am I, really? You're going to have to do as I say, no matter how mad I've gone." Zelena's accented voice sang, triumphantly smiling down at Regina.

Regina propped herself up on her elbows, brushing her blood matted hair away.

"And _why_ would I do that?" She drawled, staring at her sister with a fiery resistance.

"Because if you don't, that beautiful little boy I tuck in every night will have a little accident involving his bedroom window." Zelena sneered, smirking viciously.

"You wouldn't, he's a baby!" Regina cried, pushing herself up. Zelena merely kicked her back down, a dismissive wave of her hand to shut Regina up.

"And you're my sister, nothing is above me. I mean, Rumpelstiltskin couldn't even kill a child." Zelena boasted.

"Fine. I'll do whatever you want me to do." Regina relented, staying down in defeat. Tears began to brim her eyes.

"That's more like it, first things first, shut up. I don't need to hear your terribly irritating voice while I'm trying to speak. Second, give me your hands." Regina warily held out her arms for Zelena, who roughly grabbed them and held to them excruciatingly tightly. Regina tried to wriggle away in discomfort, to receive a quick but hard backhand from her sister.

"Don't heal these. Cover them, conceal them, I don't care but they will heal naturally." Zelena sneered, throwing Regina back down. Regina didn't mention she wouldn't be able to heal herself anyway, not with her dark heart.

Regina knew that her injuries were too extensive to not tell any one about them, she could have internal bleeding, she wouldn't doubt it with how much she was electrocuted. Zelena probably knew that, wanted everyone to see her like this.

"Now, tomorrow when you and Robin are prancing about the forest," Zelena mocked, her voice turning too sweet and too high-pitched, "and he takes you to your 'special spot' I want you to sit him down, look him dead in the eyes, and end it."

"What? No!" Regina cried out, the tears now spilling over. "I can't-" Her voice was cut short as Zelena waved her hand again, smiling as Regina clutched her throat. But it wasn't her throat, she just couldn't breathe. Something was smothering her, preventing any sound.

"That's a little trick I've learned. I hear it's unpleasant, but it won't harm you. It's a just a gag."

Regina glared at her sister, practically defying her with her eyes.

"So you'll sit him down, end it, tell him because there's 'obstacles that can't be avoided,' you're not lying to him after all. And it will crush him, and in turn you, and there will be tears and you will shut yourself away from everyone around you." Zelena knelt next to her, caressing her cheek as if trying to comfort her.

"And if you don't do as I say, not only will little Roland die, but so will Henry, and little baby Neal, and your rat of a stepdaughter and her husband... Maybe even Emma."

Regina lunged forward, aiming for Zelena's neck. She almost hit her mark, had Zelena not fallen the opposite direction. Angry, Zelena began kicking at Regina, contacting her already injured stomach more than once.

"Tell anyone about this, about who _Marian_ really is and I'll do exactly the same thing, only I'll let you watch." She whispered against a fallen Regina, putting her mouth to her ear, like a lover's lilt. Regina felt the smothering feeling go away, and took her chance with it.

"I'm too injured, no one will believe this was an accident. Zelena I have to go to a doctor!" Regina began to cry, tasting her own blood in her mouth. "Please, you said you wanted me alive, I won't be soon."

"Is the famous Evil Queen begging for her life? Admitting defeat, after such a long time fighting me. Have I really defeated you now? When you think you are to die?"

Though Regina had faced death in the face and laughed she had no desire to die now, not after knowing Zelena wasn't planning to kill her.

"Wanting to live and admitting defeat are two separate things, _Sis_." Regina spat, regaining her fire.

"Oh do be quiet. I let you talk for a reason, and it wasn't to mouth off. Do we have a deal then? Your life, and the lives of those you love, in exchange for this simple, little, task?"

"You sound too much like Rumple, making deals, destroying lives..."

"Quiet! I don't want to hear about him, he who has all the power, when I had his dagger I had even more power than he did. _I_ was the queen of your sad little town, then you had to go and mess it up. And you can talk and snivel about how me made you a monster, but at least he gave you the time of day. He protected you, he tutored you, Hell! He's even helped you, throughout your career as his monster, as the queen, as anything you ever did! At least you got that attention!"

Zelena ranted on, while Regina watched. She was getting more and more frantic, getting dangerously close to exploding. Regina lifted her own shirt, revealing multiple large bruises, and terrible burn marks across her stomach. Her arms had hand shaped bruises from the elbow up, and she could only imagine what her face looked like.

She tenderly touched the wounds, ignoring Zelena's voice as it slowly faded away. It hurt, she flinched away from her own touch.

"Oh, is my little sister scared?"

"I'm hurt Zelena, perhaps if you should get that through that little green mind of yours, so you can address it." Regina sneered, spitting at Zelena again.

Zelena paid no mind this time, prancing around Regina's body, seemingly thinking very hard on the matter.

"Oh alright, I suppose our fun can come to an end for now. I don't care where you go, but remember to do exactly as I said." She smirked, relishing in her triumph.

" _So Regina broke Robin's heart, and in turn the Queen fell apart, and if the children die, and their families cry, it will be because Regina couldn't do her part."_

Zelena sang this over and over, and even when she disappeared in her cloud of magic, Regina could still hear it echoing off her walls. Zelena hadn't transported her, she couldn't move herself, and if she didn't find a way to heal herself soon she would surely die on her kitchen floor.

Clenching her fists together Regina called upon all the magic she had within herself, hoping it would answer her calls. She felt it tingle the tips of her fingers, and with a reassuring breath she pressed her hands to her injured abdomen.

The magic ripped through her, healing her inner wounds, and gods did it hurt. Though Regina had changed herself, become a wielder of the light and a hero, her heart had needed more time, and it couldn't sustain the light magic within her.

 _Regina thought reassuring thoughts to herself, as she shook with pain on the floor._

 _'Surely this would of killed you before, your heart has become lighter.'_

 _'You've battled the darkness before and won.'_

 _'Just a few more seconds...'_

And then the pain stopped, as did her movements. With each breath Regina felt some of her strength return, but she could also feel the darkness in her heart reject what she had tried so hard to achieve.

Ribbons of red sunlight filled the room before she got up. How ironic that it would be a beautiful morning on the day she would lose everything, again.

Regina half-heartedly waved her hand, her newly recovered magic straightening, repairing and cleaning the scene before her. Her blood was swept away, joining the rays of sun. Now the only evidence that anything had transpired that night was her bloody clothing, and her battered body. As instructed, Regina kept the bruises marring her skin as they were.

Her mind on auto-pilot she walked up her steps, entered her room, threw her clothes into the back of her closet, and she dressed herself. But when she looked in the mirror and saw the blood and the bruises and the tear stains on her face she broke.

Sob after sob wracked her body, her strength lost again as she collapsed in hysteria.

 _'Call for help._ ' One side of her mind told her, and she felt the urge but another side told her, _'So they can see you weak? You don't need help, you can deal with this yourself.'_

"No." Regina whispered, "'Needing help doesn't mean you're weak..." She repeating this in her mind as she fumbled with her cell phone, shakily pressing the number one.

She pressed her phone to her ear, waiting anxiously as the tone rung over and over. Finally, she heard a click and her step-daughter's groggy voice.

"Regina? It's six in the morning, is everything alright?"

 _'She sounds tired, you shouldn't disturb her.'_ The voice whispered, trying to find any excuse to not accept help.

Snow began to get worried at the silence from the other line, she could hear Regina's shaky breath, and waited patiently.

"No." Was all Regina managed to get out, all her body could manage. She was not used to calling for help, she was supposed to be stronger than that.

Snow was up before the dial tone began a second later.

...

"Regina!" Snow cried upon bursting into the manor. She quickly hurried upstairs, leaving David and Neal in the dust behind her. A terrible knot of worry was forming in her stomach, twisting it and pulling at her.

Regina still sat on her bedroom floor, staring blankly at the dresser across from her. She didn't know what time it was, assumed she still had time to meet with Robin, still had time to hide herself.

She could hear Snow coming up the stairs and towards the bedroom, but the former queen couldn't bring herself to call out. She wondered if she should try to hide, realizing how terrible and unexplainable this whole thing was to be. She should of just dealt with it, she shouldn't of been so weak.

"Oh my God..." Snow whispered in horror as she opened the door, immediately dropping beside Regina. "Regina what happened, who's done this to you?"

Regina just shook her head, glancing at the girl beside her. She brushed away her hair and turned to face Snow, revealing her bruises. As expected, Snow gasped.

Regina wordlessly began to stand, sitting at her vanity and staring at her own reflection for what seemed like years. She'd worn bruises like this before, just this time Snow was aware of them.

A large bruise stemmed from her cheek all the way to under her eye, and just above it a large gash in her forehead. Her lip had also been split and had swollen. Probing the back of her head she felt another cut, which had left her neck sticky with blood.

"I can't tell you anything right now Snow. I don't know why I called you, it was stupid, but I didn't know how- I didn't know what to-"

"No, Regina this is what we're supposed to be there for, we're your family. I'm proud of you for calling, I'm just so happy you did." Snow was beginning to get emotional as well, Regina could hear it in her voice. "What happened?"

"Snow," Regina growled, "I told you, I can't tell you, I just needed help."

With a quick nod, Snow sat beside Regina on her knees.

"Do we need to go see a doctor?" She asked tenderly, for the first time realizing there may be more injuries.

"Not anymore. I healed myself." Regina mumbled.

"I thought you said-"

"Apparently I got better. I don't need anyone else seeing me like this. I don't need pity I don't even know what I need anymore." Regina snapped, unable to stand the look Snow was giving her.

"You have more bruises don't you? Someone's beaten you." Snow stated, looking at the small section of bruising she could see from under Regina's sleeve. Her stomach had not yet relaxed, if anything it tightened.

Tears brimmed Regina's eyes again, as she nodded once in confirmation. "I can't say." Was all she verbally replied however.

Carefully, the princess lifted Regina's shirt, but dropped it as she reeled back in horror. Not a spot on her step-mother's pale stomach wasn't black or blue, or a terrible shade of purple.

"I can't just sit here and pity myself Snow, I'm done now. I can be strong." Regina mumbled, righting her shirt.

"You don't need to be strong Regina, not after something like this."

"I've stayed strong through everything that's happened, or at least I've tried. I won't give up after this, just help me will you?" Snow saw the flame Regina had struggling to light itself. "I won't be weak, I can't be weak."

"You're not, whatever happened here we can get through-"

"I don't need a damn hope speech Snow, just..." Her voice lost it's power mid way through. "I'm wearing my hair down to cover these cuts, but I don't know how to hide the bruises."

However reluctant Snow was to just cover the whole thing up, she knew it was how Regina would cope. So she nodded and stood, surveying the rather large makeup area Regina had set up. With a sigh, she took up a brush and sat next to Regina.

Regina sighed in relief at her compliance, she simply went on fixing up the spots till they were nothing more than an unfortunate discolouration.

"You know I'm here if you want to-"

"I don't want to talk about it Snow." Regina said, cutting her off. "Just trust me, talking about it will make things much worse."

"If they're threatening you, we can make sure that nothing happens..."

"No Snow, you can't. So just fix me up, I need to go out today."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I need to see Robin, and Gold."

Snow just nodded, and kept going with her work, thankful David had enough sense to stay downstairs with Neal.

Regina finished the rest of her makeup, and fixed her hair so that it was tame again. She looked at herself in the mirror and noted she looked better. Yet, she still couldn't bear to see her own reflection.

"Thank you Snow, for being there."

"You know I always will be."

"Do you know the time?" Regina smiled slightly, not knowing how to return such affectionate comments.

"It's half after seven, why?"

"I've got to go, but I'll be by the loft later. Is that okay?"

Putting on a happy face Snow smiled and nodded enthusiastically, sweetening her voice to the highest point.

"That'll be great, I'll make lunch and we'll spend the day just relaxing."

Regina gave a small smile at her attempts to make her feel better. They were kind, annoying as they were they were kind.

"Okay, thank you." Regina said, appearing normal again. A façade true, but if she had the will to keep it then she could tackle everything soon to come. Even if it meant another broken heart.

She and Snow walked down the stairs, Snow bustling away to say she would make coffee.

"Regina! You're alright." Charming exclaimed, sounding almost, relieved? "We were worried."

"Yes, I'm fine now." Regina replied, her gaze shifting to the baby in his arms. "Can I hold him? Where's Henry, does he know...?"

"He's with Emma, he doesn't know about anything so far."

"Alright, I'd like to tell him, so if you could just keep this in between the three of us..."

"Of course." He smiled his half smile, and offered her the baby snuggled in his arms. Her own smile grew as she took him, rocking him gently against her hip. She cooed like a doting godmother should, becoming lost in his eyes.

"I need to go, I told Snow I'll be at the loft later today." Regina sighed, looking at the time on her clock. "Go back to your father little one."

She handed Neal back to Charming, a sad look washing over her face.

"I don't think I'll be ready to see Henry, when I go over. So, if you could just briefly explain to Emma, I'm not pushing anyone away I just need time."

Charming became very serious, nodding solemnly as she left the house.

With every step Regina felt more weight being added to her shoulders. It was slowly pulling her down. Her arms brushed against low hanging branches, droplets of water falling on her head and dribbling down her neck.

Her breath quickened, and heart began to ache already. It did not go without notice that the sun had begun to cloud over. She heard his footfalls, could tell he was pacing. She was late.

Steeling herself, she moved past the concealing tree she hid behind. It took a moment before her voice worked, and to her surprise it sounded unfamiliarly strong.

"Robin." He noticed her immediately, a smile spreading over his face, and she could feel her heart break again. She sighed, "We need to talk."

She knew that that was the starting moment that Zelena had defeated her.

The weight on her shoulders finally crushed her and Robin's face fell to match her solemn one.

 **A.N: Sorry for the HUGE update gap, school was just beginning to end when I first posted this story and I had no idea how incredibly swamped I would be. So, school's ended now but I still won't have a lot of free time ahead of me. Now that it's summer I have a 9-5 job which you didn't need to know, except for the purposes of knowing I'll probably be tired and won't want to write for three hours to do one chapter. However I'll update this story as much as possible.**

 **Thank you so much for reading, or if you followed or favourited, and especially if you reviewed. You guys make this story possible, so thank you. Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the review box below! And for those also on summer break, hope you have a great vacation time!**


	3. Touched

**A.N: I'm not sure what to put here... Enjoy! (A little disappointed with the lack of response before, but not going to dwell on that.)**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own them.**

...

"What is it?" Robin asked, worry evident on his face. Regina turned the bruised parts of her face away from him unconsciously, not wanting this to hurt more.

"We should sit." She urged, not surprised when he refused.

"Has something happened? Regina, what's wrong?" He had such a pleading voice, she kept reminding herself not to give in. She _had_ to do this. He moved to grab her arms, which she nimbly shifted from.

"I- I don't," her voice shuddered and she couldn't look at him in the eyes, "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

His face went from worry to impassive. He was shocked into an emotionless state.

"I don't understand."

"There are obstacles that can't be avoided." She choked out, parroting Zelena's earlier words.

"Do you mean Marian? We discussed it, I've chosen you, we can be together." Robin reached out to touch her face, freezing when she flinched away. "Regina please!"

She lost it, her body shaking as she cried.

"Please don't." Regina sobbed, "Please don't plead with me, I can't take it."

She glanced at him, and his face had _so_ much pain. The queen who had stood so tall was crashing fast.

"I just don't understand," He combed his hands through his hair frantically. "There's nothing that could stop us. What of our fates? We were destined to be together, do you forget that?"

"Of course not!" Regina cried, pulling away from him.

Robin shoved his sleeve up, the tattoo revealed completely.

"Don't give up now Regina, not when we're so close!" Robin felt tears brimming his eyes. " _This_ , this is a symbol of our love, my own Page Twenty-Three to hold onto! Why are you doing this?!"

"I have to!" She screamed, gasping as he grabbed onto her arm. It was not a gasp of surprise, he could see it hurt. Surely he couldn't have grabbed onto her that hard...

His mouth opened in an attempt to say something, but he quickly shut it. A new kind of horror washing over his face as he saw the large purple blotches on her arms.

"Regina who's done this to you?" She turned away from him, refusing to answer.

"Robin, I will always love you. But we can't see each other anymore." Robin started to feel hot tears run down his face, this couldn't be happening, it was too much.

"You're being threatened." He stated more than asked. "We can protect you."

"Don't come around anymore," More tears slipped down her face and she hated herself for looking so weak. "Just, go back to your son. Protect him, and never let him forget about the memories we've shared."

"Regina," Robin reached towards her, as if to touch her. "This isn't a goodbye, you'll see, I'll fight for you."

"No Robin, you can't." She wiped away her tears, her voice still shaking slightly. "For my sake, don't come around."

Robin knew he couldn't argue, not when her safety or her happiness came into question.

He took another step towards her, wanting to caress her one more time.

Regina gave him a heartbroken look, disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke. All she could think about was his eyes, how much hurt could one have in their eyes? The more she thought of it the more she wondered. Something so beautiful shouldn't have that much pain.

"A reason you're in my shop Dearie?" Regina's eyes snapped open, and she spun herself around to see Rumple, standing behind the counter, this was most certainly not her home.

"No." The queen said quietly, her cheeks still stained with tears. "I-I'll just go now..." She mumbled to more herself than him. Regina struggled to walk, suddenly very dizzy. She braced herself against the display case, fighting to stay upright. Her chest was hurting...

"Why does it hurt?" Regina choked out, still swaying even with the support of the display case to help her stand.

The famous emotionless face of Rumplestiltskin went from the usual condescending façade to one that almost matched worry. It was closer to confused, Regina decided.

He moved towards her, a little faster than his normal speed. His wife entered from the back of the shop, immediately stopping in her tracks at the odd scene. Before either husband or wife registered what was happening, Regina collapsed, finally allowing the darkness in her vision to consume her.

...

Regina woke to the feeling of coolness upon her forehead. She reached up, feeling what she already knew to be a wet cloth. It felt like a hammer was smashing into the back of her head.

"Snow...?" Her voice was far too weak for her liking. "What happened?"

"It's not Snow. Do you not remember what happened?" Belle asked, removing the towel and sitting back into the chair she was on.

Regina closed her eyes, the images flying by in her mind at a hundred miles per hour. The headache was getting worse, and the weight on her chest returned.

"I remember what happened." She stated, sitting up against her elbows. She was on the same small couch in the back of Gold's shop as Charming had slept while under the sleeping spell.

"You transported yourself in here." Belle supplied, "And barely lasted five minutes before you fainted. Gave Rumple and I a scare."

"Don't make me laugh, it hurts my head. Rumple _can't_ show any other emotion than anger, and infuriating condescending calm," At Belle's look she added "Well he loves you of course."

"Well suddenly you were here and you were in such bad shape and then suddenly you just...collapse. Anyone would be alarmed."

"Not Rumpelstiltskin, have you met him?" Regina snarked, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Regina wanted to say that she should leave, she wanted to leave. Before she could she heard the soft footfalls and the click of cane, and she knew she'd be here for a while.

"Glad to see you're awake, _Dearie."_ He glanced at Belle, who immediately nodded and left the room. He took her spot on the chair, barely looking at Regina. "You've got some explaining to do."

"I don't have to explain anything Rumple." Regina shot back, sitting up completely. She grabbed her head at the spontaneous appearance of spots and stars in her vision.

"Yes, yet I don't think you want to go anywhere else right now." He quipped, pushing her shoulders back down. "Now where," The accent in his voice made the question sound more like an accusation. "Did you get these...?"

In a quick movement he lifted her shirt to just below her upper chest, and tipped the bruised side of her face towards him. She pushed her shirt back down with a glare.

"Is it any of your business?"

"Well, you did come to _my_ shop, and you didn't think that after you collapsed I wouldn't check for injuries. Come now, even I'm not that heartless to just throw you out."

"Rumpelstiltskin is not one to care." Regina deadpanned. "I think I came to your shop because I needed something."

"Think? You're not quite sure?" She knew his face would be infuriatingly calm, as always.

"Well I was _trying_ to get to Snow's, obviously my mind was on... other things."

"Clearly. So what is it Dearie?" Always ready to do business, Regina mused.

"Protection, for my family." Regina answered after some thought.

"From whom exactly?" He tipped an eyebrow up, expecting an answer.

"I can't say, but I'll pay whatever price you desire."

"Protection spells are tricky without all the information..."

"Yet possible, I've already said I'll pay your price."

"For your _entire_ family?" The unsaid question was there she knew, _'Even the unCharmings and their daughter? Or just Henry?'_

"For my entire family." She replied, looking back at the man who'd mentored her. "I know you can do it, and I can't do it myself."

"And why not exactly? Or surely the newly trained Emma could cast these spells. I know you know that light magic sustains a healing and protection spell far better than any magic of mine."

"Emma isn't ready yet, and I just can't. Please Rumple, do this. I'm sorry about all of the times that I screwed you over, but I've helped you too. And I know I'm the one who owes you favours, not the other way around, but I'm willing to pay the price."

"You're begging." The man realized then, his voice surprised and hinting on worry. "What could have the Evil Queen so scared, she'd beg her old tutor, who she apparently despises, for help."

"You've the strongest magic in the town, everyone knows this. If anyone besides myself could do this, it's you. My family," and as an afterthought, just in case he forgot, "and Roland shall be protected from harm, protect them in everyway you know."

The two sat in silence for a long time, Rumple debating if he was satisfied with her answers. She was vague, too vague and after something of this extent he _needed_ answers.

Regina let the last two days replay in her mind. She'd been far too numb from it all she realized. She'd gone been pushed and pulled into so many different emotions, strong emotions. And she just needed to let herself break for a bit. Damn what Zelena said and that it was obeying her commands, her heart was breaking again.

"I will do as you ask." Rumple finally said, glancing down at her to check her reactions.

Regina smiled for the first time that day, nodding and letting out a breath of air she hadn't realized she was holding. Her whole body relaxed he noticed.

"What's your price?" She asked her voice an odd combination of overjoyed desperation.

The man simply stood, and with a wave of his hand, the Queen's head lolled to the side in sleep.

"Belle, do ring Snow White. Tell them that Regina is here, and that I'd like words with them."

Belle nodded, transfixed on her husband's face.

"What is it, Love?" Rumple asked her, caressing her face.

"I can't figure it out."

"Figure what out?"

"What you feel for the Queen." She murmured as he spun her into his chest.

"I feel nothing for her."

"Don't lie, I know it's nothing romantic. The amount of times she's hurt you, deceived you, she's screwed you over many times, and yet it's not all malice you hold for her."

"Some things should just be left in the past."

"Is it fondness? Or paternal maybe...?"

"Belle." Rumple warned, "I can't explain what I feel, just know that it's nothing of importance." He caught his wife's stare and relented. "Sometimes I look at her and still see that vulnerable _girl_ that I first agreed to mentor."

Sensing the subject coming to a close Belle simply nodded. Her husband was complicated indeed, and even she couldn't get through all of the barriers he'd put up.

...

"What do you mean she collapsed?" Charming demanded, his arms crossed and his aura screaming aggressive. "And you didn't bring her to a doctor?"

"Well _Dearie,"_ Rumple snarled, butting heads with the prince. "What could a doctor do that I couldn't?"

"What if something had actually been wrong?"

"I checked, anything that was seriously wrong was healed, probably by Regina herself. And I doubt that she'd want more people to see her in this state."

"What was she even _doing_ here?" Charming said through clenched teeth.

"What everyone comes here for, she wanted something."

"What did she want?"

"Take a wild guess." Rumple shot back, glancing at the their wives in the back room.

"Did you agree?"

"But of course. Have you seen the extent of her injuries? Quite gruesome I'd say, your wife is going over it with mine."

"Snow saw Regina this morning. What did she ask for?"

"I'm afraid that's in between us."

"Look, Regina has been..." Charming swallowed, the word sticky in his mouth, "tortured, before and she somehow remained strong. Didn't ask for help from anyone, acted like it didn't happen almost, but this, it was bad Gold..."

"I'm quite aware. Let me give you the short version," Gold bit, his words coming out strained and angered, "Regina has been beaten, burned and threatened. This I know, what I don't know is how it happened or what had her so upset. I had _hoped_ you would be of help for once."

"She left her house this morning saying she'd come over as soon as she talked to Robin..."

"And you let her." He accused.

"How were we supposed to know?"

"Obviously it didn't go well. I trust you can complete the simple task of getting her to you and your wife's... home."

David simply nodded, but not moving from his place in front of Gold.

"You said she healed herself?"

"She did, there are burn marks too extensive to not cause internal injuries, yet here she is."

"She told Snow she couldn't do that, heal herself."

"Ah yes, I suppose this is good news laced with bad news. Her heart sustained the light magic, so its darkness is obviously fading. Otherwise she would of died a slow painful death. The bad news is that because of the remaining darkness she went through a considerable amount of pain. It wore her heart down and any emotional trauma could be dangerous."

"Should we keep Henry from her?"

"That is up to you, but obviously she had just withstood emotional trauma, you need to watch her."

Charming nodded, stroking his imaginary beard. "Will she wake up if I move her?"

"I doubt it. I don't usually make house-calls Dearie but when she wakes up do give a ring. She and I have to have a more elaborate talk, business and such."

With a questioning stare Charming merely moved past the famous pawnbroker, and into the back room where Snow held the hand of Regina. A scene all too familiar in his mind's eye.

"Ready?" He asked, moving behind his wife to stroke her shoulders.

"I think so," Snow mumbled back, releasing her hand and moving away from the queen's sleeping form, "I'll lay out the blankets in the back seat of the truck."

David carefully pushed his arms under Regina's knees and shoulders. She was like a feather in his arms, dead weight and all.

"Were you worried Rumple?" Charming asked as he passed the pawnbroker.

"I don't really do the whole worry thing, rather alarmed however. Ms. Mills seems to get herself into trouble often."

Charming just shook his head and walked out, pondering the puzzle that was Rumplestiltskin.

...

Regina woke in what she hoped was her step-daughter's apartment. Zelena wouldn't show her face here, not unless she wanted her big reveal to come sooner than later.

"You're up, we thought you'd sleep through the day." Snow chirped, gingerly tending to Regina.

"You watched me sleep?" Regina inquired, staring at the princess oddly.

"Checked in, just in case."

"Why?"

"Because Regina, we care. And you collapsed in the middle of Gold's shop and you were hurt and so we're worried. With good reason too."

Regina put her face between her hands, groaning.

"He called you?"

"Where else would he go?" Snow whispered, grinning slightly. "Actually, once you woke up we were supposed to call _him._ If you're up to another conversation, that is."

"Yes. Call him now, there's business we have to discuss."

"Alright." Snow gave her an odd look. There was something off about her step-mother she could tell.

"Is there something wrong?" Regina remarked dryly, "You're giving me quite the look."

"Nothing's wrong, it's just- Are you sure you want to talk to Gold now? He explained that you fainted from some kind of emotional exertion, not allowing yourself to recover."

"I healed myself, it was a risk, I knew that. I didn't want to go back to Dark magic and so I used Light and I had no idea if it was going to kill me or not."

"So should you really be conducting business with Gold?"

"Trust me, I won't recover any more than I am now if I don't."

The princess nodded once, and walked away stiffly. Regina was left to her thoughts and she was quite grateful, for they were messy and unorganized and black in her mind. Whatever Gold wanted she would give him, of that she was sure. No queen every flourished with a messy mind, so Regina sifted through the ugly thoughts and locked them away. To be dealt with later, she decided.

"Gold will be here in a minute," Snow muttered from the foot of the bed, "Charming and I will give you two privacy, we'll be out for an hour or so."

Regina nodded in recognition but also in thanks. They were being surprisingly understanding, she knew her stepdaughter to be kind hearted but they often did not know how to help in a way she needed. Today they seemed to know what she needed more than she did and it made Regina wonder if she had become so dependent and weak that her spending time with Snow to recover from one heartbreak or other was normal.

' _It's not weak to seek out help, it's the opposite.'_ Snow had told her once, but Regina had not believed her.

"Sleep, Charming will wake you when he arrives." Regina snapped out of her thoughts, nodding absentmindedly. "Regina, before we leave just promise you won't do something drastic."

"I don't know what you mean." Regina replied stiffly, tipping her chin up.

"Magic always comes with a price right? Don't let it be too high."

Pursing her lips Regina nodded stiffly again. For a moment she had thought that Snow was insinuating that she thought Regina would end her own suffering, and the proud queen in her was a bit insulted.

She'd survived her mother's cruelty, and then her husband's, hadn't she? She'd lost herself in revenge and murdered her own father, the only person to love her except for Daniel at the time, and had had twenty-eight years to think of it. Blow after blow had been dealt to her and yet Snow White had assumed that she would fall now?

' _You've thought of it though,'_ her mind whispered. ' _How many times did you look at the balcony or the tower or the rope and here the pill bottle? Maybe she's not so far off.'_

' _Thoughts are just thoughts until they are put into actions.'_ She replied, completely aware that she was replying to herself in her own mind.

' _You've put yourself in harms way before, does that count? Or sacrificing yourself, trying to anyway.'_

' _That couldn't be avoided, and I didn't want to die. If I wanted to die I doubt I'd still be here.'_

 _'Or you're too stubborn to follow through. Why you used Light magic on yourself just this morning, with no idea if it would kill you or not_.'

 _'I've never actively tried to kill myself.'_ Regina argued back, she would not be weak. Not to herself, not to others, no one.

' _Thoughts are dangerous things, often put into action.'_

"Regina!" Said woman ripped herself from the black thoughts of her mind and looked up. She realized Snow was no longer there, in her stead stood Rumple. "I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes, are your inner workings that amusing?"

"Enlightening is the word better used." Regina replied, her tongue still her protector.

"Shall we begin then?"

"Yes, let's." Rumple nodded and summoned a chair to him.

"We're going to talk first."


End file.
